Teaching Kids to Be Kind and Inclusive: Lessons from the Past and movies like Anjali

The Importance of Teaching Kids Kindness and Social Inclusivity

Addressing the Concern of Limited Social Circles in Children

In today’s world, many parents observe that their children have a "fixed" or limited social circle. Phrases like "Oh, they already have their friends" or "They don't like to socialize with new people" are common. This phenomenon is evident in schools and neighborhoods, where kids form tight-knit groups that often exclude others. While forming close bonds is natural, fostering kindness and inclusivity is crucial, especially in an era where social dynamics are rapidly evolving.

The Growing Issue of Loneliness and Social Exclusion

One of the most pressing concerns among parents, educators, and psychologists is the rise of loneliness in teenagers. According to a report from Cigna, nearly half of teens in the U.S. report feeling lonely, a trend exacerbated by reduced face-to-face interactions and increased screen time.

Exclusionary behaviors—like cliques and peer groups shutting others out—intensify feelings of isolation. Dr. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist, emphasizes that social belonging is critical during adolescence: “Being excluded from social circles can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth.”

The False Security of Established Social Circles

Parents whose children are part of established social groups may feel reassured, assuming their kids are protected from exclusion. However, social dynamics are fluid, and even well-connected children can suddenly find themselves on the outside due to shifting friendships or conflicts.

Having moved frequently, I’ve experienced firsthand how difficult it is to break into established social circles. Despite outwardly welcoming environments, true inclusivity was often missing. Many parents overlook their children’s exclusionary behavior, only recognizing the harm when their own child experiences social isolation.

The Power of One Inclusive Child

Inclusivity starts with a single child. Research shows that when one child takes the initiative to include an excluded peer, it inspires others to follow suit. Acts of kindness—like inviting a classmate to join a game or sitting with someone who is alone—can transform social dynamics.

A teacher once shared how Jack, a student in her class, consistently included a shy new classmate. “At first, Jack was the only one reaching out,” she said. “But soon, others followed, and it changed the entire classroom atmosphere.”

Lessons from Ancient Inclusive Societies

Historically, inclusivity was essential for survival and community well-being. Here are key lessons from ancient societies:

• Tribal and Village Communities: In ancient tribes, inclusion was necessary for collective survival. Shared responsibilities and storytelling reinforced community bonds.

• Greek and Roman Schools: The concept of paideia in ancient Greece emphasized moral and social education, fostering collaboration and mutual respect.

• Ubuntu Philosophy (Africa): This principle—"I am because we are"—instilled collective responsibility, teaching children that personal identity is linked to community well-being.

• Indian Gurukul System: This education system emphasized equality among students, fostering teamwork and shared learning experiences.

• Japanese Harmony (Wa): Traditional Japanese communities valued harmony and inclusivity through shared festivals and social rituals.

Teaching Inclusivity Through Modern Stories: Anjali

The classic Indian film Anjali, directed by Mani Ratnam, beautifully illustrates the impact of inclusivity. The story follows a young girl with developmental disabilities who initially faces exclusion but is later embraced by her peers, demonstrating how small acts of kindness can create a ripple effect of positive change.

Structured Programs to Teach Kindness and Inclusivity

For parents and educators looking for structured ways to teach social inclusion, these programs offer valuable resources:

• Random Acts of Kindness Foundation (randomactsofkindness.org): A curriculum for PreK-12 focusing on empathy and social skills.

• Roots of Empathy (rootsofempathy.org): Uses real-life experiences with infants in classrooms to teach empathy.

• Second Step SEL (secondstep.org): A PreK-8 program covering emotional regulation and conflict resolution.

• Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley) (ggsc.berkeley.edu): Online courses on kindness and compassion.

• MindUP (Goldie Hawn Foundation) (mindup.org): A mindfulness-based curriculum promoting social awareness.

• Learning for Justice (learningforjustice.org): Free resources on diversity, equity, and inclusion.

• Positive Discipline (positivediscipline.com): Non-punitive strategies for fostering empathy and cooperation.

• The Kindness Curriculum (centerhealthyminds.org): A mindfulness-based curriculum for young children.

How Parents Can Foster Inclusivity at Home

Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's social attitudes. Here’s how to encourage inclusivity:

• Model Inclusive Behavior: Children learn by example. Demonstrate kindness and openness in your daily interactions.

• Encourage New Friendships: Facilitate playdates and social activities with diverse groups of children.

• Teach Empathy: Discuss feelings and perspectives, using books, movies, and real-life situations as teaching moments.

• Address Exclusionary Behavior: If your child exhibits unkind behavior, discuss why inclusion matters and encourage corrective actions.

• Promote Group Activities: Engage children in team-based extracurriculars, such as sports, drama, or volunteer work.

Preparing Kids for Changing Social Dynamics

Social circles evolve over time, and teaching children adaptability and empathy prepares them for future challenges. By fostering inclusivity early on, parents and educators equip children with the social and emotional skills needed to navigate friendships, build resilience, and contribute to a more compassionate world.

Final Thoughts: Building a Kinder, More Inclusive Generation

Creating a culture of kindness and inclusion begins with small, everyday actions. Whether inspired by ancient traditions, modern psychology, or personal experiences, the message is clear: inclusivity benefits everyone. By teaching children to embrace diverse friendships and act with empathy, we are shaping a future where no child feels left out.

Start today by encouraging your child to make a new friend, reach out to someone who feels alone, and practice kindness—because one small act can change a life.